Solitude & Rivers

What is it about having the place all to myself? I look forward to it but I know that when K. finds a job and goes back to work, I'll miss him and be lonely without him around. But today is his hospice day, and I've just revelled in being alone. Not that I've done anything I wouldn't do if he were here. Actually I've done exactly the same things I do every day (I am in a rut) but it just feels quiet and serene and like home.

We've had a lot of rain and gray days lately (really more like parts of days). This is very, very rare for this part of the world. Behind our apartment is a drainage overflow thing that usually has a tiny bit of water in it (although I think not in the summer). K. calls it our "crick" even though I protest every time he says that. I call it our "river" which is equally silly. But Tuesday it was a raging river. We had white water. It was so amazing to see. It was many, many feet above its banks where there are just grasses and trees. The trunks of the trees didn't exist because the water was up that high. I just kept cheering the water on. I wanted it to get higher and higher and come up to our patio. I loved seeing it. Now all that's left is a line of leafy debris where the high water left its mark. I will definitely miss my river. And I'm very glad to have had it!