Celebrate Victories Wherever You Find Them

Victories don't have to be celebrated with champagne and a brass band or the friggin president flying onto an aircraft carrier or even dinner at a fancy restaurant. I'm celebrating every moment of the little victories I've been having lately. I made it twice around the circuit at Curves on Wednesday for the first time. Woo hoo. Yea me! I'm wearing a blouse that's been too tight for the past year. Woo hoo, ibid. Lest you think I'm getting a swelled head here. No, not that. I have a really, really long way to go. But each little milestone makes me feel like carrying on the journey and makes the journey more interesting and fun. There's a woman (Kathy) at Curves who's there every MWF at 4 as am I. She's quite skinny and wears lots of make up (which is odd for working out) and has perhaps had a bit of "work" done. She could be anywhere from 50 to 80. I have no idea. But we were introduced the first day I was there, and she immediately started calling me Sal. I loved that. We now have a banter that makes Curves even more fun than when it's just Tina & me. She's really funny. And she can take what she gives so I tease her, and we all laugh a lot. Unfortunately, in doing two times around the circuit (that's all you're supposed to do), I perhaps overdid it. I could barely walk yesterday. Today's a bit better but not 100%. I think I need to go more slowly at each station if I'm going around twice.

Answers to Rap's questions: NoCal daughter lives in Northern California. SoCal daughter is Peanut and lives in southern California! "Finding my voice." I'm not sure how A. meant it but here's how I heard it. Kids in homes such as mine where there's lots of nasty stuff going on learn at an early age that you just don't talk about it. Whatever it is. And you, R., know what all "it" was. You don't talk about it. I didn't until I met you and even then not the knitty gritty stuff. I wanted desperately to be in the choir at Ichabod but opening my mouth to try to sing was way more than I could handle. That's why the music teacher said I could be in the choir if I voiced the words (that & my threatening not to babysit for his new twins). I was/am so intimidated by the idea of making sounds that aren't speaking sounds. Speaking a foreign language? Oh, no. Senior class play just about did me in because I had to speak with a hoity-toity accent. So to me, finding my voice means finding ALL my voices. Letting myself be free to make noise! Toning & chanting seems like a good way to start. Plus it's supposed to be really good for you, sets up healing vibrations and all that good stuff.

I'm trying to get stuff listed for ebay but find it very slow going. K. is going to DC tomorrow and hasn't (as far as I can tell) actually talked to anyone there about jobs. I'm ready to pull my hair out. I really don't want to move across the country and have him sit there and not look. There were all sorts of things that were on our lists, and I think he's just decided the hell with it all. I vacilate between wanting to yell at him and wanting to just ignore the whole situation (oh, that's me all right). Over the last almost 3 years, I've felt it important not to nag him and not to get into his shit. But I'm feeling like I should get into it a bit right now! The move is 6 weeks away, and we have so much to do.